1. |
*The Cyrkle (Champion)
04:34
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I think that five or maybe six
years have come
since you first challenged me*
inside a mostly empty auditorium
the same one where you'd ask
if I caught who did catch
the shrapnel from your telecaster
and I think before a word escapes
about my two heartbreaks in silverlake
where only you could be
the one who reminded me of
limitless expanding possibilities
and in the car my mother said to me
I know who you should marry
You're my champion
You catch me when I'm falling down
I never said so 'til just now
but you're
my champion
I was hysterical laughing
as they grabbed for shards and broken strings
All I could say was
You are Thurston Moore:
You'll look fourteen until you're fifty-four
and you said
We should all be so lucky
but I'm already so lucky 'cause you're
You're my champion
You catch me when i'm falling down
I never thanked you 'til just now
but you're
my champion
On Sixth and West Twentieth
I pressed my face into your chest
You don't know it yet, but I wished you
so much better than the best
And the time you saw me at that bar
out on Los Feliz Boulevard
when I said greatness
I meant the greatest
'cause you're
You're my champion
You catch me when I'm falling down
I never said so 'til just now
but you're
my champion
So I guess that brings us finally
to the answer for which you've been waiting
I think
I think it was those girls from Snohomish
and Rosa and Stacy
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2. |
Long Divisions
03:26
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I wasn't even awake yet
thinking, God, I'll never get
my sorry self back to sleep
I felt you shifting out
from underneath the bedsheets
Tesco picnics in the park alone
all your week spent on the farm, I know
you've been so busy
The coincidence kills me
I don't think I will
but if I ever see your face again
I wouldn't recognize you
I never knew you to begin
To begin with
were you counting on the options?
Cursed with your own indecision
curious concoctions:
short stints and long divisions
I wasn't even shaking
malnourished in the rain
while at the station strangers cuddled
just to stay dry
Did you call me?
Maybe once, not twice
but you enthralled me for a comically short time
and for a minute I was so convinced
I was so, so convinced
I don't think I will
but if I ever hear your voice again
I'll hold my own in
I never knew you to begin
To begin with
were you counting on the options?
Cursed with your own indecision
curious concoctions:
short stints and long divisions
Just so you know
by the time the train left paris
three girls and I,
in a sleeper carriage,
nodded off
So, were you counting on the options?
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3. |
I Don't Want You
02:29
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You must think that I'm an idiot
or wish that we had never met
when once I'd come when called and
now I fall and all you have to do
is ask for fact
a foreign notion
sculpted into scripted motions
diplomatic, so reserved
and automatically absurd
Selfishness, it takes on
many forms
but out of self-respect
I don't want you anymore
I let you get away, it's so
and kept the parts that didn't go:
the open sores, the gaping wounds
the hopes you never lived up to
So now I send them back
through Sovtek tubes and Marshall stacks
Let them serve as solid proof:
I never took more than I did deserve from you
Selfishness, it takes on
many forms
but out of self-respect
I don't want you anymore
I don't want to anymore
I don't want you anymore
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4. |
Heartless
03:50
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This world is far too large for our little hearts to handle
and in the grand whole scheme of things
the radar will hardly blip or blink
if you can't
can't stand to love me
You can't
can't stand to love me
if you can't
can't stand to fall in love with me
it's not because you're heartless
It's not because
you're not heartless, let's be honest with ourselves
When you look at me you don't see
the possibilities I sell
when from the infinite you've claimed your little piece
It keeps you busy enough that you don't need
to want what was never missing
You won't miss me, let's not evade reality
If there was never a void
there was never a void that needed filling
It's not because you're heartless
It's not because
I've seen inside that chest of yours
the guarded, padlocked dresser drawers where you hide
just enough just to get by
and you tell outsiders that you're cold
and dead inside so no one knows
you're more than you let on
You're more human than you'll let yourself let on
It's not because you're heartless
and it breaks my heart to know it
'cause I know that you're not heartless
It's not because you're heartless
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5. |
Collector's Expedition
03:51
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You wake and wait for light to frame
the spectacle of day
The world's your oyster
you ease it open and then you pillage and rape
leaving in your wake the spoiled shells widespread
barren, shaken from their soiled and empty beds
You have traveled far and wide
caressing the depths of every tide
and still there's nothing that you find
to keep you occupied
You'll never be satisfied
Swim farther down
Look harder
Drown
One by one, as you exhaust the seas you are not conquering
The overindulgent prince is little more than just
the son of the king
Inheritance is not entitlement to inflict suffering
Swim farther down
Look harder
Drown
Is this what you want?
Am I what you've been searching for?
Am I what you want?
Am I what you've been searching for
'cause I'm yours
As they make their way up to the shore
their mouths move
They call out to you
I'm yours
Tired and pearlescent blue
they have not forgotten you
I'm yours
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6. |
Utopia
05:25
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He was a gentleman
I was too young to understand
motions so meaningless
gestures just part of the jest
Bared myself every time
he sank his skin into mine
with the physical force of
a body divorced from the angels and demons inside
Still I'm so inclined
to sacrifice all my unlaid plans
to find a trace of the lies
Lies that shape
my paradise
A shock knocking at my door
was more than I could afford
Uncalloused and convinced
Desperate for decadence
Holding his hand to hide
my tried innocence terrified
of losing its grip
on the tides of my hip
as his slippery lips spit their goodbye
Still I'm so inclined
to sacrifice all my unlaid plans
to find a trace of the lies
Lies that shape
my paradise
What's it worth?
Utopia
What's it worth?
He was a gentleman
but I surrendered something genuine
and I did it wholehearted
over and over
again and again
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Cristina Bautista Seattle, Washington
Some people pull themselves together so quietly no one realizes there was any falling apart to begin with.
I'm certainly not about to do that.
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