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Utopia

from Gold Parts by Cristina Bautista

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lyrics

He was a gentleman
I was too young to understand
motions so meaningless
gestures just part of the jest
Bared myself every time
he sank his skin into mine
with the physical force of
a body divorced from the angels and demons inside

Still I'm so inclined
to sacrifice all my unlaid plans
to find a trace of the lies
Lies that shape
my paradise

A shock knocking at my door
was more than I could afford
Uncalloused and convinced
Desperate for decadence
Holding his hand to hide
my tried innocence terrified
of losing its grip
on the tides of my hip
as his slippery lips spit their goodbye

Still I'm so inclined
to sacrifice all my unlaid plans
to find a trace of the lies
Lies that shape
my paradise

What's it worth?
Utopia
What's it worth?

He was a gentleman
but I surrendered something genuine
and I did it wholehearted
over and over
again and again

credits

from Gold Parts, released September 6, 2011

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Cristina Bautista image

Cristina Bautista Seattle, Washington

Some people pull themselves together so quietly no one realizes there was any falling apart to begin with.

I'm certainly not about to do that.

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